Unspoken Words
by Viloia
Summary: He'd only wandered off from the group for a moment. But a moment's all it takes. [Contains Torture&Swearing]
1. Captured

**Currently this story is rated T, if anyone has a problem with this I'll up it to M but for now it'll just be T m'kay?**

**Warning: Contains blood, violence and torture. So if you don't like stuff like this I suggest you click the little cross in the upper right hand corner.**

**Disclaimer: No I do not own Saiyuki but I do own the box sets, so hands off!**

**_Oh and snaps for Joyah and Tovah who are my own personal beta's! Yippee for mee!_**

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Goku had once again got himself separated from the group. They had been fighting the usual hordes of bloody thirsty demons Gojyo gave a sudden shout of surprise. 

"The damn monkey's gone missing again!"

This was followed by various swearing and a few grunts seeing as a few more demons kicked the bucket.

"Well this sucks, we're gonna hafta spend our time AGAIN looking for that stupid monkey."

Grumbled Gojyo looking pissed off.

"Look I'm sure that Goku's fine and probably isn't very far from here. All we have to do is say the word meat bun and he'll hear us for miles." Hakkai assured Gojyo.

"Well whatever you do I'm not helping. I'll be in the jeep, disturb me and die." Sanzo growled to his two remaining companions.

Sadly the group of three didn't realize just how much trouble Goku was in and how different he would be the next time they saw him.

* * *

Goku breathed heavily trying to gather his thoughts as he opened his eyes blearily. His first thought was: 

"Wow I'm hungry!"

His second:

"I wonder what's for breakfast?"

And third:

"Where the hell am I?!"

He cast his eyes around the room trying to remember how he got here and then it hit him, he'd been drugged! He thought back to when he was fighting with Sanzo and the others. He had just finished whacking one over the head when he had caught the heavenly scent of meat buns. Wandering off into the forest and following the scent, he soon came to a clearing and there in front of him like an offering to the gods was a plate of freshly cooked meat buns. Drooling he ran and crammed out five meat buns at once into his mouth and swallowed. That was when he had felt a sharp pain in his neck, feeling his neck he had found a dart. By then his surroundings started to grow hazy and he couldn't remember anything after that, only inky darkness. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes Goku tried to stand only to find his legs felt like rubber and so and promptly fell to the floor again. So instead of trying to stand again he took a look at his surroundings and found to his surprise that he was in some kind of basement. His stomach twisted horribly when he saw tools that were only ever made for one purpose, pain. Trying to stand again Goku found to his surprise that this time he was able to walk, just. Staggering he made his way over to a steel staircase which was situated next to what looked like a bed of needles. To his disappointment he wasn't strong enough yet to walk up them, and he'd have to wait a while until he could attempt to. Goku sighed in defeat and leaned back against a steel table that looked like it would be used for operations. Studying it more closely he saw red stains that looked like, blood?! Shuddering in disgust, he slid to the floor and waited for Sanzo to come.

Because Sanzo always came, didn't he?

* * *

"This is strange, I wonder where Goku could've run off to?" 

"Damn it Hakkai, I bet the monkey's back at the jeep being shot at by Sanzo."

"I suppose so, and if he isn't he'll probably wonder into the inn when he gets too hungry."

* * *

And so the companions went back to the jeep and Sanzo, minus one monkey. 

Goku jerked awake to the sound of a door creaking open and the echo of footsteps descending on the stairs.

"Whaa? Breakfast time al-"Goku started to yawn then stopped remembering where he was.

Snarling he jumped to his feet to face the one who imprisoned him, but before he could do anything e felt a sharp stab in his left shoulder and collapsed in a gasp of pain.

"So sorry Son Goku but I can't let you escape before I've had a little fun can I?" Whispered Goku's capturer, his black eyes flashing with insane amusement.

This time Goku slowly came to and opened his eyes groggily. He tried to struggle to his feet but found to his dismay that he had been shackled to the operation table he had lent against earlier so that now he was lying upon it and the effects of the drug were still in his system, leaving him weak and in no state to fight. Raising his head slightly to get a better look at where he was, Goku cautiously swept his eyes around the room again. The room was pretty much the same as before except this time the metallic smell of blood was stronger in the air and there were a few more grisly looking torture weapons had been placed here and there. A voice suddenly spoke from the shadows making Goku's stomach clench in fear.

"Ah so the great Son Goku is finally awake?" The voice murmured sounding oily and smooth.

"You bastard!" Goku spat trying to move his head to see where his assailant was hiding.

It was then he got capturer stepped into his line of vision and Goku's eyes widened considerably. It was a demon and not just any run of the mill demon, no it was hideously disfigured. The eyes were a deep coal black filled with insane glee and his hair a sickly green colour coming down to its waist and hanging limply. Its mouth was curved up in a smirk, and as for its nose, let's just say it looked like this demon had lost one of its senses. But the most noticeable thing about the demon (besides its non-existent nose) was that its skin was a deep red, so red in fact that it looked like it had bathed in blood and if you touched his skin your hand would come back sticky.

"Who are you?!"

"Oh let's just say that your friend's have something I want…"

"Riiight, you're the scripture aren't you?"

"That is correct. But getting you was an added bonus."

"Hmph. Y'know that they'll come for me and then they'll kill you."

"My dear Goku! That's exactly what I want."

And then the demon laughed, it was a sound Goku never wanted to hear again.

* * *

**Hmm, it'll get violenter next chapter but now I've said that people might think it's not that violent...**

**Oh and I do know that violenter is not a word and if it is my bad and I'll go study the dictionary harder.**

**Chapter 2's already done but I wanna wait a li'l while until I post it cause I'm like that (lazy).**


	2. Perfect

**Hmm well here it is, nothing else really much to say...Except wtf was up with Saiyuki reload's english vocal cast I mean COME ON! Sorry just had to let that out, now continue with tah reading -.-**

**Disclaimer: Saiyuki me not be the owning of, bad grammar though I is.

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**

Sanzo, Gojyo and Hakkai were seated at the inn and all of them were wondering the same thing, "Where Was Goku?" even if some of them weren't about to admit it. It had only been an hour since the monkey had gone missing but it wasn't like Goku would just disappear without a word and not come back. Something fishy was going on and they didn't like it. In the end they decided they'd ask around the village and see if anyone had seen a boy with large golden eyes and tussled hair.

They asked all around the village but no one had seen neither hide nor hair of him since yesterday. They had just finished asking a street vendor selling meat buns when an old lady came up behind Hakkai and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Excuse me my dear but I couldn't help over hearing you and that how're you're looking for a friend of yours. If you lost him in the woods I'm afraid that he might've been taken by the demon that lives deep within there. Once in a while a child will get lost in there and never come back. They say the demon tortures them for his own insane amusement and when he's sick of them, he kills them. Such a terrible, terrible thing." She sighs sorrowfully.

"You say he lives deep in the woods? Could you perhaps tell us the general direction?" Hakkai asks politely, trying to act calm.

"Oh I'm sorry but I'm not really sure and your friend may have already passed on from the world. It may be best if you don't go. It'd be such a shame if you lost your lives as well." And with that she hobbled off slowly shaking her head sadly.

"I guess there's nothing for it, we'll have to go and rescue Goku." Hakkai sighed peering behind Gojyo and looking towards the forest, why did everything happen to them. **(2)**

"Che."

"Whatever."

None of them mentioned the possibility of Goku being dead, because each of them believed it was impossible for Goku to die…well nearly impossible.

* * *

Goku's stomach growled noisily as lay on the table waiting for Sanzo. He lifted his head up sharply as he heard approaching footsteps. The door opened and the demon descended the steps smiling in delight. 

"I've decided that I'll have a little fun with you while I wait."

Goku said nothing trying to get free of his restraints but the demons had made sure to inject another dose of the drug into him, making doubly sure that he wouldn't get free. Finding that he was still too weak to move properly he went limp and watched the demon warily. It walked towards him slowly and pulled a sharp knife from behind its back. Licking its lips the demon ran the knife down Goku's cheek slice the skin open as it went. Goku flinched crying out and started to try and get free again.

"Now, now be a good boy and STAY STILL!" The demon started to say softly then grew savage and started to beat Goku senseless. Growing bored of just beating the boy the demon grabbed Goku's right hand and then proceeded to push Goku's thumb back sharply until there was a resounding crack. He then started on the next four fingers. Yelping in pain tears started to run down his cheeks as Goku tried to pull his hand away from his tormentor, but the demon wasn't finished yet and had now pulled out a light, seemingly from nowhere. Flicking it with one hand the demon started to stroke Goku's hair with the other.

"Such lovely hair, it'd be a shame if it simply disappeared."

That was when he brought the lighter to Goku's hair and it caught alight. It started off as a small flicker but then started to blaze brighter. Screaming in pain Goku started to slam his head repeatedly against the table to try and put out the flame but to no avail. It only ended when the demon bent down pulled out a bucket from under the table and poured it over Goku's searing head. All there was left of Goku's hair now was burns all over his head. Laughing like a small child, the demon surveyed the damage and seemed unsatisfied.

"Hmm, needs some more work."

Goku's only reply was a whimper and squeezing his eyes shut, trying to block out the pain and hoping Sanzo would come, hell! Even Gojyo would be good right now! Goku's eyes snapped open again when he felt white hot pain down the side of his left leg. Screaming Goku saw the demon standing over him with the knife now dripping with his own blood. The demon had run the blade down Goku's leg cutting deep through the fabric and his skin. It felt as if his leg had been torn in two and Goku just wanted the pain to stop. Oh god just make it stop.

"I'd say it'll take about another 2 hours for your friends and until then I want to have as much fun as I can with you."

Taking hold of the knife again Goku watched eyes flickering in fear and tried to curl up, but the chains bounding him prevented this. The demon started to make small nicks and slashes against Goku's body getting wilder and wilder in his moments until Goku's clothes were completely torn up and his golden eyes grew listless from loss of blood. Finally the demon stuck the knife into Goku's left hand, pinning it to the table for "safe keeping". This was just too much for Goku to cope with and he fainted from the loss of so much blood and the pain. He welcomed the darkness with open arms and hoped to never wake up again.

His work done the demon stepped back and looked up and down at Goku's torn up body and half naked body. He smiled then uttered just one word.

"**Perfect."

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**

**Creepy isn't he? And no, I am not talking about Goku. **

**Chapter 3's gonna be really short but I'll try double hard to make Chapter 4 quadruple its length (which isn't really much considering how short it is)!**

**_I'd ask you to review but it'd be demanding of me...SO REVIEW!_**


	3. Found

**I'm experiencing difficulties with fanfiction so everything may be a little weird on have errors. I'll try and fix this as soon as I can! )**

**Disclaimer: Nope I'm flattered you thought I did but I don't own Saiyuki D**

"Stay back guys!" Hakkai warned Gojyo and Sanzo, as he blew the dungeon's door clean away and half of the staircase with it.

"Jeez Hakkai you could've been a little more subtle, rather than destroy half the dungeon!" Gojyo grumbled as he shook the dust out of his hair.

"I'm sorry it seems in my haste to find Goku I grew a bit careless and went a bit over the top." Hakkai answered apologetically.

"Hurry up! I want to get back to the inn before it gets dark." Sanzo growled and swept passed them and jumped down into the dungeon.

"You heard Mr. High and Mighty Hakkai." Gojyo shouted and jumped after Sanzo.

"Oh my…" Hakkai murmured and followed his companions.

The demon heard the explosion and knew that Son Goku's friends had come to find him.

"Looks like our funs over Son Goku, such a shame! I hope we can play again soon but I must fly!"

As the demon talked to the unconscious boy, he walked over to the dungeons wall and pressed a hidden mechanism disguised as a stone. This opened a hidden passage way and as he entered it he waved cheerily at Goku's form and then he was gone the wall once again looking normal.

"Hey monkey! Your babysitter's here!"

"Goku! Where are you?"

"YOU STUPID MONKEY! Get your butt out here right now!"

"Guys you better come and look at this…" Gojyo whispered quietly.

Sanzo and Hakkai walked slowly over to where Gojyo was standing and Hakkai gasped softly.

"Poor kid…"

Sanzo just stood there frozen and was staring intently at the mutilated, burnt and beaten body in front of him. It was pinned to a medical table and covered in deep cuts and bruises were all over its body. It had two black eyes and his hair was completely burnt off, replacing it were red oozing burns that probably were as painful as they seemed. His clothes were practically slashed to slithers and his right hand was horribly disfigured where the fingers and thumb had been bent back and broken. His left hand been pinned to the table with a large hunting knife. There was deep cut on his left cheek all the way to his ear, which looked as if it had been cut with the large hunting knife that was pinning the left hand down.

Hakkai went to bend down and check the boys pulse when suddenly his back arched up as he gasped violently for air. His eyes had opened and were filled with fear as he looked wildly at the people standing around him until he saw Sanzo. The tiniest of smiles could be seen upon his lips as once again collapsed into unconsciousness.

"My god did you see his eyes Hakkai!?"

"I saw Gojyo, I saw. Sanzo are you okay?"

"…That stupid fucking monkey."

Goku lay in the darkness of his mind for a long time. He ignored the pain that was pushing into him from all sides. He focused on trying not to remember what had happened to him and what was going to happen to him when he woke up. Was it really Sanzo he'd seen before he fainted, or had it been a cruel trick played on him by the demon? And even though he had wished so hard that they would come he was also scared of what would occur when he woke and how the others would react around him. Did they think he was weak now? Some kid who couldn't even escape from one measly demon! Would Gojyo taunt him mercilessly about how he was a big pussy or Hakkai say that he was too wimpy to even waste words on…But worst yet would Sanzo ignore him completely and not even wack him with his giant paper fan? These questions lay unanswered in Goku's mind as he slipped into an even deeper sleep where even the pain couldn't reach him.

**There will probably be things that won't make sense in this chapter since I changed it to make it longer and more interesting. **

**Just tell me and when I get the time I'll edit it )**

**Now I'm going to bed x.x**


	4. Reflection

**Okay...I know I suck and once again I apologize. I've had this since January and have no idea why I put off uploading it. Maybe because I actually don't like my writing? Who knows, anywayz here it is and I hope you enjoy reading Goku angst.

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**

Goku woke slowly and the first thing he noticed was that he was lying in something soft and the pain of his physical injuries had faded somewhat, though Goku wished he could say the same for his mental ones. Realizing he was lying on a bed and that his injuries had all been bandaged Goku tried to lift his head, but to his dismay found he was far too weak to even do something as simple as that. Goku heard the door open and quickly closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep, not wanting to face the others just yet. Assuming it was the others that had saved him from the castle.

"The chimps been out for a while, do y'know if he's gonna wake soon Hakkai?"

"I can't say for sure really Gojyo, seeing as even though I was able to patch Goku up on the outside there could be severe mental damage on the inside and that's something I just can't heal, Goku needs to do it himself."

"I suppose so, I just wish he'd hurry up about it. The monk's being pissier than usual and that's saying something."

"That's just Sanzo's way of coping with the situation, once Goku wakes up I'm sure he'll go back to his same old self."

"I hope you're right Hakkai.

* * *

And that was all Goku heard of the conversation as he fell into real sleep.

He was having a nightmare again, this one was worse than the last. The demon just kept pushing needles into his arm like it was a pin cushion and wouldn't stop. He wanted someone to save him but he couldn't cry out or even scream. His voice was gone and he was all alone and no one was going to help him…

Goku jerked awake gasping painfully for air, his body coated in sweat and hands shaking. The room was dark and he could see another bed on the other side of the room. Making out a figure in it he pushed his covers aside and tried to stand on his own to feet. But realizing his mistake when his legs buckled underneath him and he landed on the floor with a heavy thump. Feeling some of his wounds open Goku winced and tried to grab the side of the bed but then realised his fingers were heavily bandages and set in splints. It was then he felt a pair of hands hoist him gently off the ground and set him carefully back onto the bed.

"You baka! Think before you act next time and maybe you wouldn't get yourself into so much trouble!"

Goku stared into crimson eyes filled with anger and worry.

"Now wait here while I go tell the other two you're awake and maybe get a certain monk off my back."

Gojyo turned to leave but Goku desperately tried to grab hold of Gojyo's left hand willing him not to leave him all alone again. Gojyo half turned round and looked directly at Goku and snorted in impatience.

"Fine I'll only stay a little while but then I'm going to get them, you can't pretend to be asleep forever y'know."

Goku nodded silently and shifted awkwardly to the side as Gojyo sat down on the bed.

"Everyone's been worrying, even Sanzo, in fact especially Sanzo. Though I don't think you'll ever get him to admit it."

Goku just gave Gojyo a small smile but winced when his lips cracked and started to bleed.

"Here drink this."

Gojyo poured him a glass of water from the table beside the bed and held it against his lips since Goku couldn't grasp the glass himself. The water was a little warm and stale but to Goku it tasted like pure bliss. It trickled down his sore and dry throat and wet his bleeding lips.

"Now why don't you stop pretending to be the "strong and silent type" and say something to me? Preferably about how irresistible I am to the ladies."

Gojyo asked as he put the now empty glass back on the bedside table.

Goku went to say something but it was as if he couldn't remember how. He opened and closed his mouth silently and all that came out was a low croak and nothing else. Gojyo frowned and then stood up abruptly.

"Well I think that's enough chatting, I'm gonna go wake them now and Hakkai can check how your injuries are doing."

But Goku tried to grasp Gojyo's hand again, trying to stall.

"What the hell is it now?"

Gojyo huffed turning to look at Goku.

Raising his hand shakily, Goku pointed at the open door to the bathroom.

"Okay, but I'm not going in with you."

Gojyo helped Goku to his feet and let him lean on him as he limped his way to the bathroom, feelings his wounds burn and ache. Putting his weight on the wall for assistance Goku slowly closed the bathroom door behind him and made his way to the basin's mirror. The person staring back at him was almost unrecognisable. His hair was almost completely gone **(A/N I hate myself for this now)**and his face was pretty much a mess of dark bruises and he had deep bags under his eyes. He had wrinkles on his face that had never been there before and his eyes looked emotionless. There was a bandage on his left cheek that probably covered a cut of some kind. His eyes brimmed over and tears silently slid down his cheeks. It just wasn't fair.

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**Okay just tell me if there's any errors, because I don't have a beta at the moment and I can never figure out my own mistakes. Thanks again for sticking by me and reading this, it was my recent review that actually got me going again. Oh and I've already written the next chapter but I'll wait for some reviews then upload it, thanks!**


	5. Problems

**Wow...been a while and this isn't even that long. I'm a crappy person. And I love coffee that is all. **

* * *

While Goku was busy in the bathroom Gojyo had gone to fetch Sanzo and Hakkai. Knocking on the door of the room they were both sharing, Gojyo opened it and peered inside.

"Hey wake up you guys, I came in to let you know that Goku's awake."

Gojyo said this in an unusual serious tone and for once wasn't making any cheap remarks.

"That's wonderful news Gojyo! We'll be right there."

"Wait, I dunno if it's anything to worry about but he hasn't said a word since waking up. Then he tried to say something but it was as if he couldn't form the words."

"Hmm that could be a worry, or maybe it's just the shock of what he's gone through, I'll see though if there's anything wrong with his vocal chords just in case."

"C'mon monk, time to go see the chi-!"

Gojyo went to say to Sanzo then realized the monk had already slipped off.

Goku had made his way back to the bed after going to the bathroom, but it'd taken a lot out of him. He could already feel himself starting to drift off to sleep again but he waited knowing that even if he was to fall asleep when Sanzo came back he'd probably get woken up again anyway. Scratching at his bandages and wincing Goku lay back down under the covers and waited for the others to come. His sharp eyes suddenly picked up someone entering the room and at the last moment chickened out and faced away from the doorway.

"Look at me."

Goku trembled slightly but stayed transfixed by the wall.

"Goku. Look. At. Me."

Goku obeyed and turned away from the wall as golden eyes met purple ones. He waited for the blows to come or the insults. But instead Goku got a pleasant surprise. **(A/N **Well technically it was an insult but he said it a nice way…**)**

"You stupid monkey."

Sanzo then gave something Goku would never ever forget even if he turned 100 (well make that 600). A small embrace, it was awkward and stiff and lasted for less than 3 seconds, but it was a hug none the less and that was saying something seeing as it was coming from Sanzo, **The **Sanzo. Goku was frozen and didn't know what to do, he felt tears leaking out the sides of his eyes for the second time that day and a small sob racked his body as he buried his head in Sanzo's chest.

Gojyo and Hakkai watched silently from the door way until Gojyo whispered to Hakkai.

"_Do you think we should come back later?_"

"_Good idea Gojyo, we'll leave them alone of a little bit."_

Hakkai shut the door silently and decided to go get the fresh bandages for Goku and medicine to help his injuries heal along the way. Gojyo followed Hakkai and decided to go get some food because knowing Goku he'd sure to be whining his ass off soon and he hoped that everything would be back to normal soon.

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**Hmm is it horrible? Probably. Should I be doing english homework? Yes. But we all know neither of those things matter because I'm back to writing fanfiction. **

**My may have changed, people may complain but...I WILL FINISH NO MATTER WHAT!**


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